Al Gore Panics, Says We’re ‘Running Out Of Time’ On Global Warming, Endorses PENGUIN For Congress

You may not have asked for it, America, but Al Gore is back with some advice on how you should vote in the mid-term elections.

In a statement on the IPCC Climate Change report issued Monday, Gore insisted that the United Nations’ climate scientists have made their final proclamation on the subject of global warming — and the news is dire.

“Today the world’s leading scientific experts collectively reinforced what Mother Nature has made clear — that we need to undergo an urgent and rapid transformation to a global clean energy economy,” Gore tweeted.

“However, time is running out, so we must capitalize and build upon the solutions available today. Solving the climate crisis requires vision and leadership,” he continued.


Gore, not to waste an opportunity for partisanship, critiqued President Donald Trump for his lack of attention to climate issues, even though, despite pulling out of the Paris Climate Accords (which had no enforcement clause, anyway), the United States has made significant strides in curbing carbon emissions through technological advancement.

Gore’s statement also seems at odds with the U.N.’s own conclusions, which downplay an increased risk of extreme weather as connected to climate change, and the “world’s top scientists” actually suggested that the best approach to stemming global climate change was to “systematically disassemble capitalism,” rendering technological advancement a thing of the past.

But that’s not even the weirdest part of Gore’s most recent overture to the public, begging them to make climate change a priority in upcoming elections. In a video released Monday night, Gore made his long-awaited endorsements for Congress … and he endorsed a penguin.


The penguin, named “Earth,” doesn’t meet the Constitutional requirements for federal public office, of course. Al Gore’s just joking. But the video comes across less as a creative way of injecting environmental issues into the national discourse as it does a sad reminder that Al Gore remains committed to connecting with Americans.

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